Sunday, November 2, 2008

Handling Criticism

One of the costs of leadership is criticism. It is a price all leaders have to pay. Sometimes it is very helpful, but other times people are punitive and just reflecting the dysfunctional behavior they have never conquered. Most of the time the Lord has enabled me to handle criticism, but critical people who often lack spiritual depth are something I find hard to handle.

Here are some things that have helped me over the years:

1. Listen and delay your response.
2. Take the sting of criticism to the Lord in sincere prayer. The Apostle Paul prayed that he would be delivered from unreasonable men.
3. Never respond publicly. God has really helped me in this area. A few years ago, some folks became disgruntled and wrote very cruel emails and gossiped terribly--one lady even left notes in the leadership mailboxes of the church leadership team. It was so tempting to say something in a message, but God really helped me to bite my tongue. We have all learned to avoid using the pulpit as a bullying tool. This is great wisdom!
4. When people are cruel to you in emails, do not argue with them via the Internet. I tell my staff to write them back something like, "I received your email. Please call me at your convenience, and let's talk personally about this."
5. Collect articles on dealing with criticism, file them, and review them a couple times a year.
6. Preach/teach on this subject, as our preaching probably helps us the most!
7. The facts are, there are times when the devil uses criticism to overwhelm us--realize this is a spiritual attack--stand firm.

Rick Warren in his Ministry Tool Box Issue #343 has a great article entitled "How To Handle Opposition." It is from 1/9/08, and you can find it at Pastors.com/Ministry Toolbox.

Hope that helps you, my dear spiritual sons and daughters. I cherish our times together and hope as many of you as possible can be a part of Mardi Gras Outreach this year. It is always a great reunion! Love you tons, Papa G.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

What To Do When You Feel Like You've Bombed!

I proved yesterday in chapel at North Central Univeristy (NCU) in Mpls, MN that no matter how much experience you have in preaching--it is possible to "bomb!" I preached (tried to!) on "Overcoming Racism" which is a topic I have preached on many times. Anyhow, I am just not happy with how I did--the subject matter was good but my delivery just did not go as well as I think it should have gone. I also perhaps went a bit over time which I rarely do and that bugged me to.

I know I am really physically tired from weeks of hetic ministry schedules but at the same time I 'hit home runs' in five different class lectures and a discipleship lecture this morning for a missions team.

Only those with massive ego's wouldn't admit they have never bombed at preaching. When you know you can do better and you don't it causes some melancholy. So the question is--how do you handle those feelings? Here's some helpful tips to keep you preaching:

1. I think it is good this happens occasionally because it humbles us and reminds us how much we need the Holy Spirit's help no matter how little or how much experience we have.
2. It helps keep our pride in check. That ugly thing is our downfall.
3. It proves we are not the center of the universe.
4. It proves the Biblical statements "the foolishness of preaching."
5. It proves we are human and not ministry robots/machines.
6. It is short lived. For those preaching every week like youth pastors and others as soon as you're done with this weeks sermon you start thinking about next week!
7. It gives you incentive to do better next time! Prepare better, pray more, (for those starting out) practice more and for old guys like me, be rested!

Some thoughts to encourage my sons and daughters in the faith who perhaps feel you bombed the last time you preached/taught. I believe in you and know God has called this generation to do great things for our Lord. May these words from a Spiritual Father encourage you greatly today! Papa G.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Finishing Strong

From June 2005:

“For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:” Hebrews 10:36 NKJV

Recently I was speaking with Gordon Anderson the President of North Central University in Minneapolis, MN and we were talking about this subject of ‘Finishing Well.” He made this insightful statement: “We have not been called to run a perfect race but we have been called to finish the race.” I wholeheartedly agree. It is very important to start well and very important to do well in the middle of your time, but how we finish determines whether or not we will live a life of rewards.

There are so many things that have to do with living a life of rewards:
• Being faithful. 2 Samuel 22:6 says, “To the faithful you show yourself faithful…” Dr. CM Ward use to say, “All it takes for a miracle to happen is for you to just show up. What a word for unfaithful Western Christians!
• Being a generous person. Proverbs 11:25 “The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters (refreshes) will also be watered (refreshed) himself.”
• Living a holy life. “Pursue peace with all men; and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14
• Having a good attitude. “Let the same mind (attitude) be in you that was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:5
• And finishing well! This is the greatest key to living a life of rewards.

Here’s my encouragement for us to all finish well…
1. GOT TO KEEP A GOAL IN MIND. (Got to have a vision) Proverbs 29:18
-A generation of Hebrews did not finish well & did not enter into God best (the Promised Land!).
-Demas in 2 Timothy 4:10 forsook Paul and did not finish well.
-In 2 Timothy 4:5-8 we read of Paul keeping his goal in mind and it enabled him to finish well.

There is an interesting story about Florence Chadwick, the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions. On July 4th, 1951, she attempted her first swim of the Channel. The waters of the Atlantic Ocean were bone chilling and a dense fog made visibility impossible. After 15 hours within ½ mile of her goal she gave up. She told reporters if she could have seen the land she probably would have made it. But she tried again and in fact broke the men’s record by 2 hours (we know ladies, God created a man and said, “I can do better and created a woman)! Anyhow, she said even though it was foggy again on her second try she made it because “I kept reminding myself the land was there.” This demonstrates the power of keeping a goal in mind.

This is what I have to do when I ride on my birthday a mile for each year of my age (I am at least 30 years of age for those who don’t know me!). It gets tiring in the hot July sun and humidity but I know the satisfaction of crossing the finishing line in the church parking lot and the incredible satisfaction of raising thousands of dollars for the cause of worldwide missions! The rewards are worth the pain and keeping a goal in mind helps me to finish well. I am so glad Jesus finished well! See Hebrews 12:1-2

2. GOT TO HAVE A GOOD NAME IN YOUR HEART.
“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches. Loving favor rather than silver and gold.” Proverbs 22:1

I was discussing this idea of finishing well with Lois Owens our Senior Saints Pastor and she said, “If I ever got fired from a job (she never has and don’t worry Lois you won’t!) I would be the best employee in the world my last two weeks or however long I was on the job, just to protect my good name.”

There are things we do not because they are convenient or we necessarily feel like doing them but in order to finish well with rewards we do them for the sake of our own personal good name, the good name of the local church and most of all the good Name of our Savior!

3. GOT TO HAVE GUTS IN YOUR BELLY! (Sorry)
Notice the order of our text in Hebrews 10:36:
a. Endurance
b. Do God’s work and will.
c. Then we get the promise, the blessing.
We like the blessing right away, maybe do the will of God but we sure don’t like the endurance thing. There are so many Christian quitters—it is sad! Jesus did not save us for us to quit or be quitters. He saved us to finish the race and finish it well.

I think the greatest story of “guts” I have ever heard is from the 1968 Olympic Marathon race in Mexico City. John Stephen Akhwari from Tanzania was the one predicted to win but there was a collision, fall and severe injuries. He was urged to quit and get treatment but refused. Bloodied and bandaged he continued mile after mile with excruciating pain. Four hours later there were only a few thousand spectators left in the stadium. The winner of the race, an Ethiopian, had crossed the finish line more than an hour before but all of sudden sirens blazed and the gate opened. Into the stadium staggered a solitary figure, the last man to finish the Olympic Marathon—John Stephen Akhwari. The remaining spectators rose and cheered him as though he was winning the race.

Asked why he continued and didn’t quit he said these powerful words, “My country did not send me 7000 miles to start the race; they sent me 7000 to finish the race.”

Tears come to my eyes as I tell this story again—I have it on tape and cry every time I watch it because it so speaks to me. Life and for me ministry at times has a way of beating us up with its endless demands—it certainly is not a 100-meter race we are in, it is a Marathon! But this I know, to enjoy the rewards I have to finish well and to finish well I have to have ‘guts in my belly.’ No matter what, I have to finish and do it well.

I could tell you the story of Derek Redmond in the ‘92 Barcelona 400-meter semifinals who pulled a hamstring and his dad jumped from the stands and helped him finish. I could tell you the story of the Special Olympics where one of the runners tripped and fell and everyone else stopped and helped him back up and they all ran arm in arm across the finish line together. These kind of stories really inspire me to finish and show me that many times I need the support of others to help me finish and friend, so do you.

How we finish determines whether or not we will live a life of rewards.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Importance of Evaluation

We are in the 4th week of our Saturday night services--are doing 8 then will evaluate and see what happens. Are we only shifting people, have we really grown (don't think so yet) ?--we'll just have to see!

The nice thing about Saturday night services is that you get to evaluate afterward! It's all part of what Earl Crepes's calls "reverse mentoring." I met with four other younger staff members and talked about what worked and what didn't work so well in the message. We critiqued the whole service and were able to make adjustments. It made preaching today so much more fun since we have 4 Sunday morning services and our evaluation on Sunday mornings is just on the run! Literally!

So here's some quick thoughts on the importance of evaluation:

1. Older ministers need to be open to evaluation from younger staff. Again, reverse mentoring can be really good.
2. The only thing better than experience is evaluated experience.
3. In the teams you lead, make sure you can have times of healthy evaluation.
4. If a team leader is afraid of open evaluation, the team will not win championships.

Hope these simple thoughts bless the young men and women I love, pray for, and believe in. It is the joy of my life being a spiritual father!

Papa G.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Making Spiritual Parenting Work

Good morning spiritual sons and daughters!

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted! Wow, September flew by...finished a fun sermon series called "Game Time" and last weekend we kicked off 40 Days of Community! My son James and I had an incredible father-son time attending the Illini vs. Michigan game at the "Big House" in Ann Arbor, MI. We were on the sidelines and just had a blast!




Am currently in San Diego visiting our newest granchild, Titus James Grogan! He was born September 21st and became "Jewish" yesterday if you know what I mean! :) It's such a joy bonding with my California grandchildren and being with my son and daughter-in-law!

All of this has made me think about spiritual fathering again. Here's some quick thoughts:

+Got to make time investments in order for it to work.
+Take the iniative as a spiritual son or daughter to spend some time together with a spiritual hero.
+The causal but real times of discussing life, ministry and family while driving down the highway are absolutely priceless! Make sure they happen.
+Fathers need the feedback on new books to read and sermon ideas as much as spiritual children need them! Keep things flowing back and forth.
+Sons & daughters develop their own personalities, styles, tastes and preferences and it's the way it should be. If a "spiritual parent" tries to make you into them, run! A true parent allows space.
+Be sure and express your love and friendship to each other. I make sure I verbalize things like, "I love you," "You really handled that well," "I am proud of you and what you are doing," and "It's just great hanging out with you!"

Gotta go. James and I are going on an hour hike up a San Diego mountation to check out a new view!

I believe in you all! Papa G.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Assumptions and Losses

Good evening Sons & Daughters,

I just got back from a week of ministry in jolly old England with Paul Alexander, President at Mattersey Hall Bible College in Mattersey, enjoyed visiting the oldest wooden church in the world at Essex (the Greensted Church late 6th/early 7th century!) with my dear friend Pastor Ken Williamson and then wonderful ministry at a Men's Retreat & Sunday Service with Pastor Doug Williams of Evangel Christian Centre in Walthamstow, East London.

Was standing in line at 4:10 AM @ London Heathrow this past Monday waiting to board Air France for Lagos, Nigeria for five days of fellowship, friendship and ministry with my dear Elder Blessing Adeoye (after completing his PHD & working professionally, he gave up a rich career to minister to some of the poorest of the poor in that vast city of Lagos) and realized I did not have a Visa for Nigeria! I took the subway (called The Tube) into London and waited for 3 hours at the Nigerian Embassy to no avail. Back to Heathrow airport and was able to jump a plane and come home!

My assumption in not checking details for this trip ended up in loses. Here's some life-lessons for my sons & daughters so you can live smarter, avoid my dumb mistakes and be more blessed than me:

1. Superintendent Ernie Moen use to say, "Attention to details brings success." I was not successful because I did not check all the details. Some I did, but one of the most important I overlooked. Lesson: Check & re-check details so success is guaranteed.

2. I called Elder Blessing via his wife Florence and told her I could not make it. Then I called him yesterday to find out he did not sleep well Monday night because he was so disappointed. He had worked, planned and prayed so hard and yet my arrival fell through. Lesson: When we fail in checking details & leave something undone it causes pain in the ones we love.

3. I was totally exhausted from so much travel, ministry and then the stress of plans not working out. Lesson: Assumptions can cause personal exhaustion, embarrssment, and trials (makes you feel really dumb!).

So all of you sons and daughters please make sure as you continue to grow in your experience and confidence that you still check details, follow through on promises, and do your hardest work on the front end of things. An ounce of prevention is still worth a pound of cure. Be encouraged with Galatians 5:16, it is my prayer for you.

I love you passionately as father,

Papa G.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Asking People To Come To Jesus!

I was so impressed with Craig Groeschel "10 Reasons..." I wanted to put it on my blog hoping more people would read it and pass it on. Please see below.

Am teaching at Mattersey Hall Bible College in Northern England and having a great time! 15 minutes from where the Wesley's grew up! A church right across from this school has records of the actual pilgrims that came to America! If we find something 100 years old in America we think it is a big deal--tonight I went to dinner with Dr. Paul & Carol Alexander's the President here at MH in Linclon, England and there is huge Cathedral there that was built in 1079! Paul said it costs $100,000 US to operate it per week! Yikes!

Head back to London on Thursday via the train and do a Men's Retreat for Pastor Doug Williams and on to Lagos, Nigeria on Monday to minister in a prison and outdoor meeting for our own Elder Blessing Adeoye from Stone Creek Church!

I encourage any of my spiritual sons & daughters to go on missions trips whenever you can! It enlarges your world view and helps you be a more tolerant and loving person! The world and certainly the Kingdom is sooooooooooo much bigger than our American culture. We need to be cultural students and one of the ways to understand America better because of the huge immigration going on in our country is to travel. Enough said, enjoy Craig's article!

by Craig Groeschel
10 Reasons to Invite People to Follow Christ Every Week At Church
1. Someone may be at church only once.
2. The Holy Spirit may have been working on them for months or years.
3. Even some churched people don’t understand the gospel.
4. Many trust in the church for salvation instead of trusting Christ.
5. Seeing others saved gives believers another reason to worship and motivation to witness.
6. New Christians can “light a church on fire.”
7. Angels in heaven get to party when one person meets Christ.
8. Hell is a real place.
9. You care deeply about people.
10. Families, workplaces, neighborhoods, cities, and generations could be different when one person meets Christ.
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